I Don't Want You To Go
by socgrl
Summary: What if? Continued scene at Harm's apartment in Lawyers, Guns and Money


Title: I Don't Want You to Go  
  
Spoilers: Everything up until now  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own them, wish I did, but alas I don't.sigh  
  
A/N: The beginning is the scene at Harm's apartment when Mac stops by.Sorry.there is a little bit of violence.but it is a Shipper story!!!!  
North of Union Station  
  
Apartment of Commander Rabb  
  
I can hear the strumming of his guitar through the door. I begin to think that this might not be such a good idea, he's probably got someone over and he is trying to entertain them with his musical stylings.  
  
I decide what the hell and knock. And he answers the door, guitar in hand.  
  
"Hey," he says.  
  
"Hi.are you entertaining?" I question as I subtly take a look behind him to see if there is a brainless blond adorning his sofa.  
  
He turns in the direction I'm looking, "No.ah.just entertaining myself." He moves out of the way to let me in.  
  
As I pass him I explain my reasoning for this visit, "I just came by to see how you were after all you've been through."  
  
"Well so far no one's accused me of murder"  
  
"Well it's early yet." I say with a laugh  
  
"That's true."  
  
I walk over to the island in the middle of his kitchen and begin to take off my coat. I toss it across the island and turn to find Harm in utter confusion at my protruding belly.  
  
"Whoa," he says.  
  
"What?" is my reply acting as though nothing is going on.  
  
"Is there something you want to tell me?" he asks.  
  
"Plenty" I return with a big smile and I sit on the barstool.  
  
"How did you hide this?" he asks slightly confused.  
  
"Bigger cloths," I say with a slight laugh.  
  
With his guitar still in hand he walks over to me with a bewildered look. He looks down and then I see his hand extend down to my belly and feel my stomach. In that instance I don't think anything has ever seemed so normal, even though it wasn't real. By this time I am smiling uncontrollably and he has a flicker of a smile playing in his eyes.  
  
Wanting for me to spill my news he prods, "There's a story here.somewhere."  
  
My mood turns a serious note, "Listen, I'm going away."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Can't say," I state flatly  
  
"For how long?" he prods even more.  
  
"Don't know," I state again.  
  
"This has Webb written all over it," says Harm trying to get the information that he can out of me.  
  
"He needed a pregnant wife, and I'm his cover story."  
  
"Is it dangerous?" he asks.  
  
"Very," I reply with more doubt ridden in my voice then I would have liked. "I travel to Paraguay tonight. But I needed to know that you were all right, you've been through a lot lately."  
  
He walks away from me and sets his guitar down. Silence fills the room and it's becoming uncomfortable. Like always there is so much to say but we can't seem to find the words. I take this as my cue to leave. "Uh.I'm coming back you know." I try to lighten the mood as I grab for my coat.  
  
"I don't want you to go," he tells me almost as a plea.  
  
"Why is it that you're only like this when I have one foot out the door? Your interests fade when I might be in a position to return them."  
  
He looks at me with lost eyes and I head for the door. He calls my name and I look back. Nothing else is said and I turn to head down the elevator to my car.  
  
All of a sudden I hear a loud bang and a couple of crashes and I immediately turn around to Harm's closed door. I know that the noise was from within and I know he has not locked the door yet. I come barreling in to find his law books sprawled across the floor, his desk a mess, the barstools are on the ground and he is on his knees in the middle of it all.  
He notices that I have come back inside and looks at me with tired and frustrated eyes. "Sarah." he pleads with me, "I have and will always be interested in a future with you. Whether it lasts a millisecond or an eternity, I wake up breathing a chance to finally be with you. I don't act on those feelings because I know that I cannot ruin something that for the moment doesn't exist. I realize that the chances I have taken to express how I feel about you were not at the best of times. But they all seem to be when it finally clicks in that you aren't going to wait around for me any longer, and I get scared." When he finishes he looks down at the floor ashamed.  
  
I'm happy that he has finally shared his feelings with me but again he has the worst timing in the world.  
  
"Damn it Harm," I scream. "Why the fuck do you keep doing this to me? I finally get it into my head through all the signals that you keep sending me that there is nothing here. Just a dream of something that we both think we want. And as soon as I'm ready to try and get things on track with my life you blow through proclaiming in your own knight in shining armor way how you feel about me. But it's too late!" I'm infuriated.  
  
"Sarah, don't go." Harm stands up.  
  
"Harm.this is your mess. It's your turn to clean it up." I state with daggers in my eyes.  
  
As I reach for the doorknob Harm rushes towards me and grabs my arm.  
  
"Sarah, I don't want you to go," he tells me this again as if I didn't hear him the first time.  
  
"Harm let go," I say looking into his eyes, challenging him. His grip increases slightly.not so much that it hurt. Almost possessive.  
  
"I said don't go!"  
  
Damn it, I am so sick and tired of this shit. "Let GO," I say again and he doesn't relent. "You know what Harm, FUCK YOU!" I scream. I slap him hard across the cheek and push him away with all that I can. Before I have the chance to get any closer to the door he comes at me with fury and anger in his eyes. He backs me up to the door and grabs both of my wrists and brings them over my head and holds them there.  
  
I can feel his body against mine. Not as much as I would like granted due to the body suit but I can feel his pulse as he holds my hands above my head. I'm scared. Not at the possibility that he might hit me because I know he never would. I'm more afraid that we might take this fight further than either of us has planned.  
  
He is still angry. "You know what Sarah, FUCK YOU. I know I have the worst timing in the entire world. But I'm not going to risk the one thing that makes sense in my life so that Webb can get off on a mission."  
  
"You think that I would stoop to fucking with Webb because you and I had another stupid fight?" I return with hatred.  
  
"Why the hell not. You did it in Sydney. Why not in Paraguay."  
  
"You bastard. That was a low blow!" I say trying with all of my might to push him away again. And again he presses his body even closer to mine to emphasize that he will not let me leave.  
  
"This is a mission Harm. I am going to do a job. Not fuck Webb in some peaty attempt to get back at you for yet again being a complete asshole."  
"Yeah well you take redemption pretty seriously. If I remember you almost got married in order to get back at me." With this last comment I think he has finally given up and lets go of my hands.  
  
As he walks away I shove him and as quick as he can recover he has me pinned against the door once more. This time he is holding both of my hands above my head with one of his hands and the other is gripped on my jaw. We stare at each other for a long moment to see whose going to make the next move. One more time I say into his face, "Fuck you!"  
  
That sparked something I wasn't expecting. With those last two words Harm had pressed me further into the door and held my head stationary and came in for one of the most heated, passionate and angry kisses I have ever received. He spreads my legs apart with his knee and let the hand that had been gripping my jaw go. His one hand is moving so quickly that it already has my dress unzipped. I moan into his lips and he steps back for a quick moment to look into my eyes. They are mirror images of one another; anger, fear, lust, passion and hatred. I push him away and he stares daggers at me.  
  
Without a second thought I reach behind me and begin to unzip the body suit and let it drop to the floor. My black bra and panties are the only things that are still on my body. Harm comes at me again and presses me against the door. I can now feel his arousal without the barrier separating us. Without thinking I move my hands to his waist and start pulling his sweater over his head.  
  
He pulls me to him, grabs my ass, and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around him and continue to kiss him furiously. He begins to head over to the couch and together we fall into the soft cushions. He grinds harder against me, his hands roaming my breasts. He reaches behind me to free them from their silk constraints. With his hands already under me he moves down to grab the band of my panties, brings them to my ankles and then they are thrown somewhere on the floor.  
  
Even though they are shaking slightly I use my hands and undo the button of his jeans. He stands up and easily slides out of them along with his boxers. And without thought resumes his place hovering above me and parts my legs to fit between. He lowers himself and stops right before my opening. Then he enters. I gasp and he quickly stifles it with a deep kiss. Harder and harder, he barrels into me further until I can no longer think. We are both holding back moans with excruciating strength. Within seconds he is over the edge and I am right behind him.  
  
He looks intently at me and wipes a few stray sweat ridden hairs out of my face. He lowers his head and kisses me. "Whether you believe it or not I love you Sarah MacKenzie. Please be careful on this mission," he looks so sad and defeated.  
  
I return his kiss lovingly and say, "I'll do the best that I can, but don't think that you are off the hook for this whole horrible timing thing," I say laughing.  
  
"I wouldn't dream of it," he says, the storm clouds leaving his beautiful eyes.  
The hours that preceded included a shower with my favorite flyboy, a long passionate kiss, driving home to pack for Paraguay, and a reassuring call to Harm to tell him that I too love him and can't wait to have him in my arms again.  
A/N: What do you think? Good, Bad, Ugly??? Let me know. Sorry about the 'violent' scenes.but I love those scenes when pent up frustration turns to passion.they are interesting. 


End file.
